


I got your number (I need to make you mine)

by leviosaphoenix



Series: Accidents Happen [2]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: 'we want a sequel or a story from oliver's point of view!', F/M, I won't be offended if you close the tab, I'm the worst I'm sorry, Phone Swap AU, Texting, but anyway it's just fluffy cuteness and my dorky sense of humour, companion piece - not a sequel sorry, enjoy, in which kim gives everyone dorky contact names for each other, in which kim shows off exactly how she speaks in regular conversations, it was a pain in the ass to write so it might be to read for some people, my tags are looking awfully like masque's today I wonder why that could be, people are probably going to hate this format, text message format, you can have... neither of those things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-06
Updated: 2016-09-15
Packaged: 2018-08-13 10:32:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7973635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leviosaphoenix/pseuds/leviosaphoenix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two strangers accidentally switch cell phones. Text messages, confusion, and fluffy moments ensue.</p>
<p>A companion piece to 'should've left my phone at home (this is a disaster)' in a text message format.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Week One

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [should've left my phone at home (this is a disaster)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2417927) by [leviosaphoenix](https://archiveofourown.org/users/leviosaphoenix/pseuds/leviosaphoenix). 



> Well........ hello there. It's only been, what, like two years since the phone swap AU was posted? I still can't believe how popular that little fluff piece was (one person's rec called it a 'fan-favorite' and I think I need to print that out and put it on my wall). I know sequels are rarely quite as good as the original, but I hope you guys will enjoy this as a token of my appreciation for all the love and encouragement anyway. 
> 
> Please note: this story follows the text message format and linguistic style, which I know is not everyone's cup of tea. It's completely fine if you choose not to read for this reason - I understand! I kind of had my doubts about it, but I've been told it reads like a script, so hopefully it's okay for some of you. Also, reading 'should've left my phone at home' first is highly recommended, if you haven't already.
> 
> I want to thank thatmasquedgirl for her unwavering beta skills, coming up with some of the contact names, and for typing out the time stamps when I got sick of doing it myself. I'd also like to thank geniewithwifi for kicking my ass into gear with this, because I've been promising a follow-up for almost two years and it's about time I delivered. Title is from 867-5309/Jenny by Tommy Tutone.
> 
> Thank you so much for everything, guys. Whether you close the tab now or read right through to the end and comment, I appreciate all of you so much. Part two should be up next week!

**MONDAY**

**Speedy [9:43]**

don’t be mad

 

**Speedy [9:43]**

don’t freak out

 

**Speedy [9:43]**

it’s just a scratch roy knows a guy that could TOTALLY fix it

 

**Speedy [11:02]**

do you have my insurance info I need it

 

**Speedy [11:09]**

stop freaking out I can feel you freaking out

 

**Speedy [11:09]**

I backed into some girl’s jeep ok it was an accident

 

**Speedy [12:11]**

if you tell mom I’ll kill you

 

* * *

 

**Overbearing Birth-Giver [12:28]**

Will you please just give Clarence a chance?

 

**Felicity [13:42]**

Who is Clarence?

 

**Overbearing Birth-Giver [13:44]**

June from book club’s Clarence. You promised her you’d get dinner with him.

 

**Felicity [14:08]**

I think I have the wrong phone.

 

**Felicity [14:08]**

I’ll get back to you.

 

**Overbearing Birth-Giver [14:11]**

Wait, what?

 

* * *

 

**Ollie [14:14]**

I guess I should tell you this is the wrong number?

 

**Ollie [14:14]**

although it isn’t

 

**Ollie [14:14]**

just the wrong recipient

 

**Speedy [14:15]**

…………..who is this

 

**Ollie [14:15]**

he’s going to call you

 

**Ollie [14:15]**

like right now probably

 

**Ollie [14:16]**

he hung up on me

 

**Ollie [14:16]**

you’re not hurt though right I’d feel like a jerk if you were lying in a hospital somewhere and I’m the reason you’ve been, like, alone all day

 

**Speedy [14:20]**

I’m fine phone girl thanks for the concern

 

**Phone Girl [14:20]**

any time.

 

* * *

 

**Stockholm Syndrome [16:59]**

s.o.s.

 

**Stockholm Syndrome [16:59]**

cute girl at the gym

 

**Stockholm Syndrome [16:59]**

did I say cute? I meant ‘could definitely kick my ass in a fight’

  
  
**Stockholm Syndrome [17:00]**

her name is nyssa

 

**Stockholm Syndrome [17:00]**

my cold, dead heart is awakening

 

**Best Friend/Accomplice [17:02]**

Your friend doesn’t have her phone right now. My name is Oliver.

 

**Stockholm Syndrome [17:03]**

A BOY HAS FELICITY’S PHONE

 

**Stockholm Syndrome [17:04]**

THAT BITCH DOESN’T TELL ME ANYTHING

 

**THE BOY WITH FELICITY’S PHONE [17:04]**

I think you’re making some assumptions here.

 

**Stockholm Syndrome [17:05]**

tell me, oliver, are you attractive

 

**THE BOY WITH FELICITY’S PHONE [17:05]**

I don’t know how to answer that.

 

**Stockholm Syndrome [17:05]**

that’s a yes, then

 

**Stockholm Syndrome [17:05]**

nice to meet you oliver

 

**Stockholm Syndrome [17:05]**

now

 

**Stockholm Syndrome [17:06]**

wHY DO YOU HAVE MY BEST FRIEND’S PHONE???????

 

**THE BOY WITH FELICITY’S PHONE [17:08]**

It’s a long story. We swapped by accident.

 

**THE BOY WITH FELICITY’S PHONE [17:08]**

Huh, I guess it’s not that long.

 

**Stockholm Syndrome [17:09]**

…..can you give it back to her? or at least tell her that sara is extREMELY offended that there is a BOY in her life close enough to trade phones and she was not immediately informed of these circumstances. I know where the bodies are buried, felicity smoak.

 

**THE BOY WITH FELICITY’S PHONE [17:11]**

Unfortunately, this is how things are going to be for the foreseeable future.

 

**THE BOY WITH FELICITY’S PHONE [17:11]**

But I’ll be sure to pass on the message.

 

**Stockholm Syndrome [17:12]**

this feels like the start of a beautiful friendship

 

* * *

 

**Unknown [17:57]**

SARA HELP ME

 

**Unknown [17:57]**

SOUND THE ALARM I HAVE TO QUIT MY JOB AND RELOCATE TO AUSTRALIA

 

**Unknown [17:58]**

I HAVE OLIVER QUEEN’S PHONE

 

**Sara (Laurel’s sister) [17:59]**

oh

 

**Sara (Laurel’s sister) [17:59]**

shit

 

* * *

 

**TUESDAY**

**Felicity [5:10]**

it’s still dark outside

 

**Phone Thief [5:15]**

An astute observation. Why are you awake?

 

**Felicity [5:15]**

your preset alarm

 

**Phone Thief [5:16]**

...Sorry. I normally like to run in the mornings.

 

**Felicity [5:16]**

of course you do. the ass-crack of dawn is a perfectly reasonable time to WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU????

 

**Felicity [5:17]**

I’m sorry for yelling

 

**Felicity [5:20]**

I need more sleep

 

**Phone Thief [5:21]**

I’m in a meeting. It’s three hours later here, remember?

 

**Felicity [5:21]**

that… makes sense, sorry to interrupt

 

**Phone Thief [5:26]**

You’re not interrupting.

 

**Phone Thief [5:27]**

I’ll call you later, okay?

 

**Felicity [5:27]**

ok enjoy your meeting

 

**Felicity [5:28]**

is that something corporate fat cats say?

 

**Felicity [5:28]**

are meetings ever enjoyable

 

**Felicity [5:29]**

sorry I’m done now

 

**Felicity [5:29]**

bye

 

* * *

 

**Sara (Laurel’s sister) [10:06]**

you called him fat?

 

**Felicity’s Vacation Phone [10:07]**

THAT’S what you took from this conversation?

 

**Sara (Laurel’s sister) [10:08]**

I’m sorry

 

**Sara (Laurel’s sister) [10:08]**

you have so much power you know

 

**Sara (Laurel’s sister) [10:08]**

you could ruin the cheating scumbag’s life

 

**Sara (Laurel’s sister) [10:08]**

just sayin

 

**Felicity’s Vacation Phone [10:09]**

I shouldn’t

 

**Felicity’s Vacation Phone [10:10]**

that would be mean

 

**Sara (Laurel’s sister) [10:10]**

you’re too nice

 

**Sara (Laurel’s sister) [10:11]**

how are we best friends

 

**Felicity’s Vacation Phone [10:12]**

idk I guess we balance out

 

**Sara (Laurel’s sister) [10:16]**

I still can’t believe you managed to swap phones with your boss who is also my sister’s ex-boyfriend

 

**Sara (Laurel’s sister) [10:16]**

your life is a cheesy movie

 

**Sara (Laurel’s sister) [10:17]**

anne hathaway could star

 

**Sara (Laurel’s sister) [10:17]**

BLAKE LIVELY COULD PLAY ME

 

**Felicity’s Vacation Phone [10:20]**

she is at LEAST four inches too tall

 

**Sara (Laurel’s sister) [10:21]**

irrelevant

 

**Sara (Laurel’s sister) [10:22]**

you’re too smart to fall for him anyway

 

**Sara (Laurel’s sister) [10:22]**

I told him so

 

**Felicity’s Vacation Phone [10:22]**

SARA.

 

**Sara (Laurel’s sister) [10:23]**

FELICITY.

 

* * *

 

**Felicity’s Vacation Phone [21:13]**

he sent me WINE

 

**Sara (Laurel’s sister) [21:14]**

HE DIDN’T

 

**Felicity’s Vacation Phone [21:16]**

he did and I don’t know what to do with it

 

**Felicity’s Vacation Phone [21:16]**

I feel like it’s too expensive to even BREATHE on

 

**Sara (Laurel’s sister) [21:17]**

what is he trying to apologize for

 

**Felicity’s Vacation Phone [21:18]**

he’s thanking me for sending him some stuff

 

**Felicity’s Vacation Phone [21:18]**

like, pictures

 

**Felicity’s Vacation Phone [21:19]**

from his pHONE oh my god like BUSINESS things

 

**Sara (Laurel’s sister) [21:20]**

I see

 

**Sara (Laurel’s sister) [21:20]**

(I don’t see)

 

**Felicity’s Vacation Phone [21:22]**

this is like day two how can I be trusted with this man’s phone for the next two weeks

 

**Sara (Laurel’s sister) [21:23]**

whatever you do, make sure he sends more wine.

 

* * *

 

**WEDNESDAY**

**T [16:01]**

Dear old Dad sends his regards.

 

**Ollie (temporary) [16:09]**

That time of year already, huh?

 

**T [16:10]**

Yup. The biannual concerned father check up, disguised as lunch.

 

**Ollie (temporary) [16:11]**

Ouch.

 

**T [16:13]**

How’s the east coast treating you?

 

**Ollie (temporary) [16:13]**

The usual. How’s Starling?

 

**T [16:14]**

Rainy and miserable.

 

**Ollie (temporary) [16:15]**

I hear the river looks like it’ll flood any minute.

 

**T [16:18]**

Felicity told you that?

 

**Ollie (temporary) [16:19]**

...What makes you think so?

 

**T [16:20]**

Because she’s all you’ve talked about for the last three days.

 

**Ollie (temporary) [16:21]**

That’s… an exaggeration.

 

**T [16:22]**

Hardly. Maybe I need to see for myself exactly what it is about this girl that makes her so different from the rest.

 

**Ollie (temporary) [16:23]**

Tommy, no.

 

**T [16:25]**

Tommy, YES.

 

* * *

 

**THURSDAY**

**T [18:57]**

Your prayers have been answered.

 

**Ollie’s Call Girl [18:58]**

watch it merlyn

**Ollie’s Call Girl [18:58]**

you don’t want to find out what I can do to you if you piss me off

 

**Ollie’s Call Girl [18:59]**

to your online presence, that is

 

**T [18:59]**

Duly noted.

 

**T [19:00]**

Table Salt, you and me, Sunday at 7?

 

**Ollie’s Call Girl [19:02]**

very original

 

**Ollie’s Call Girl [19:02]**

do all billionaires receive the same playbook when they hit dating age?

 

**Ollie’s Call Girl [19:03]**

‘chapter one: take her to table salt’

 

**Ollie’s Call Girl [19:03]**

‘chapter two: expensive jewelry’

 

**T [19:05]**

Fine.

 

**T [19:05]**

Russo’s?

 

**Ollie’s Call Girl [19:09]**

how about I pick the place

 

**Ollie’s Call Girl [19:09]**

big belly burger

 

**Ollie’s Call Girl [19:09]**

to really hammer in the casual friend-ness of this dinner

 

**Ollie’s Call Girl [19:10]**

plus ten bucks says you’ve never been there before and I really want to be there for that experience

 

**Ollie’s Call Girl [19:24]**

your silence speaks volumes (you still owe me ten bucks)

 

**T [19:26]**

Sunday, Big Belly, 7pm.

 

**Ollie’s Call Girl [19:29]**

deal

 

**Ollie’s Call Girl [19:29]**

but I swear to god merlyn

 

**Ollie’s Call Girl [19:29]**

if you have me saved in your phone as something sexist and cheesy

 

**Ollie’s Call Girl [19:30]**

like ‘oliver’s call girl’

 

**Ollie’s Call Girl [19:30]**

I will end you

 

**T [19:34]**

……..How could you think so low of me?

 

**Ollie’s Felicity [19:35]**

just a feeling

 

* * *

 

**SATURDAY**

**Phone Thief [7:46]**

[Sent: IMG_2407.jpg]

 

**Phone Thief [7:46]**

Saturday meetings are the worst.

 

**Felicity [7:47]**

sneaky-cam shots during business?

 

**Felicity [7:48]**

aren’t you a dedicated CEO?

 

**Phone Thief [7:50]**

I’m bored.

 

**Phone Thief [7:51]**

What are you doing at the moment?

 

**Felicity [7:53]**

[Sent: IMG_1505.jpg]

 

**Felicity [7:53]**

I’m on a date

 

**Phone Thief [7:54]**

Adorable.

 

**Phone Thief [7:55]**

The poodle is, too.

 

**Felicity [7:56]**

so cheesy, mr. queen

 

**Phone Thief [7:58]**

[Sent: IMG_2408.jpg]

 

**Felicity [7:59]**

you know that is now saved on JARVIS for eternity

 

**Felicity [7:59]**

I could use it to blackmail you

 

* * *

 

**Felicity’s Vacation Phone [9:34]**

I have made a grave mistake

 

**Sara (Laurel’s sister) [9:34]**

I’m coming over and I’m bringing bleach, a tarp, and a shovel

 

**Felicity’s Vacation Phone [9:35]**

I think I kinda sorta

 

**Felicity’s Vacation Phone [9:35]**

asked him out?????????????

 

**Sara (Laurel’s sister) [9:35]**

is this the kind of thing you do when I leave you unsupervised?!

 

**Felicity’s Vacation Phone [9:36]**

although does it really count as asking OUT if said occurrence were to take place at my apartment

 

**Felicity’s Vacation Phone [9:37]**

not the point hE SAID YES SARA

 

**Sara (Laurel’s sister) [9:38]**

start at the beginning and leave nothing out

 

**Felicity’s Vacation Phone [9:39]**

we were talking about iron man

 

**Sara (Laurel’s sister) [9:39]**

why am I not surprised

 

**Felicity’s Vacation Phone [9:39]**

he’s never seen it

 

**Felicity’s Vacation Phone [9:40]**

what kind of sCRUFFY-LOOKING NERF HERDER has never seen iron man????

 

**Sara (Laurel’s sister) [9:41]**

...isn’t that from those space movies you made me watch

 

**Felicity’s Vacation Phone [9:42]**

‘space movies’

 

**Felicity’s Vacation Phone [9:42]**

I’ve never felt so personally attacked in my whole life

 

**Felicity’s Vacation Phone [9:42]**

but yes

 

**Felicity’s Vacation Phone [9:43]**

that is how stressed I am, I am mixing my fandoms

 

**Felicity’s Vacation Phone [9:43]**

so I just casually mention that I could lend him my copy

 

**Felicity’s Vacation Phone [9:43]**

but because my mouth hates me and nothing ever comes out right

 

**Felicity’s Vacation Phone [9:44]**

it sounded like I was inviting him over to watch it wITH ME

 

**Sara (Laurel’s sister) [9:44]**

I’m going to enjoy telling this story at your wedding

 

**Felicity’s Vacation Phone [9:44]**

so I tried to fix it

 

**Felicity’s Vacation Phone [9:45]**

and he just interrupts

 

**Felicity’s Vacation Phone [9:45]**

with his stupid smiley seductive voice

 

**Felicity’s Vacation Phone [9:47]**

all ‘I would love to watch it with you felicity. I would love to invade the sacred place you call home and see your gryffindor sword authentic replica and potentially run away screaming at the sheer number of ceramic giraffe statues on your mantelpiece felicity. I would love to completely ruin your life with my overwhelmingly attractive presence felicity.’

 

**Sara (Laurel’s sister) [9:49]**

I’m coming over and this time I’m not joking

 

**Felicity’s Vacation Phone [9:49]**

bring mint chip.


	2. Week Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goodness, you guys. You showered me with so much love last week over this silly little fluff piece and I don't know what to do with myself. I can't believe I hit 1000 kudos on the first part of this series! And all the comments have been so sweet; I'm glad you all are having fun with this. 
> 
> I never would have been able to get this done if it weren't for thatmasquedgirl. She makes me better in every facet of my writing, picking up on my errors, helping to add quirk and character, and kicking my ass when I slack off. If you aren't already reading her fic, The Edge of Hope (and all of her other stories), you definitely should be.
> 
> There's one last instalment of this to come. It's very short, but I thought I'd include it as a little bonus for you guys since you're so lovely to me. It'll be up in a couple of days.
> 
> Thanks for reading!

**MONDAY**

**T [11:10]**

Your girl is something else entirely.

 

**Ollie (temporary) [11:16]**

Didn’t I tell you to leave her alone?

 

**T [11:17]**

Yes.

 

**T [11:18]**

So, naturally, I asked her out to dinner.

 

**Ollie (temporary) [11:18]**

WHAT?

 

**T [11:19]**

I’ve never seen a woman demolish a burger with such enthusiasm before.

 

**T [11:19]**

It was awe-inspiring, to tell the truth.

 

**Ollie (temporary) [11:21]**

If you said something to that effect to her, we’re going to have a problem.

 

**T [11:22]**

I didn’t, relax. She scares me more than you do, anyway.

 

**Ollie (temporary) [11:22]**

What did she say?

 

**T [11:23]**

For all her chattiness about TV shows I’ve never heard of and books I’ll never read, she sure clammed up when I tried to ask about you.

 

**Ollie (temporary) [11:23]**

Tommy.

 

**T [11:24]**

She’s nice, Ollie. I like her.

 

**Ollie (temporary) [11:24]**

That’s a terrifying thought.

 

**T [11:24]**

Don’t worry, I only told her good things about you.

 

**Ollie (temporary) [11:25]**

Tommy.

 

**T [11:28]**

Can I be serious for a minute?

 

**Ollie (temporary) [11:28]**

Wait a second, I need to get the media here to record this historic moment.

 

**T [11:34]**

You think that the people who care about you don’t notice how distant you’ve been since your dad died. You hide behind dry humor and one night stands and try not to let anybody see how much you’re hurting. Felicity is compassionate, and brilliant, and funny, and she seems to have broken down your barriers more in one week than anyone else has managed in two years. You deserve to be happy, and after just one night of getting to know her, I think you should give her, and yourself, a chance.

 

**Ollie (temporary) [12:01]**

Thanks, Tommy.

 

* * *

 

**Unknown [18:37]**

Happy Birthday, Laurel. I know I’m probably the last person you want to hear from, but someone pointed out to me that our friendship is too important to throw away just because we didn’t work out. I don’t think I’ve ever said I’m sorry, but I am. You deserve to be happy. Best wishes for the year ahead - Oliver.

 

**Laurel Lance [19:18]**

Thanks. (Is this a new number?)

 

**Unknown [19:20]**

Borrowing a friend’s phone just for the week; long story.

 

**Laurel Lance [19:26]**

You’re right. We were friends long before we dated, and I never liked the way we left things. Tommy told me you’re out of town at the moment, but maybe when you get back we can grab a coffee and just… clear the air?

 

**Unknown [19:27]**

That sounds great. Enjoy the rest of your birthday, and tell Tommy I said to let you eat some of your cake before he trips and drops it this year.

 

**Laurel Lance [19:29]**

...I’m not going to repeat what he said back, but there were a lot of expletives.

 

**Laurel Lance [19:29]**

He says he’s going to tell Felicity about the thing with the goat.

 

**Laurel Lance [19:30]**

What thing with the goat? And who is Felicity?

 

**Unknown [19:31]**

It’s getting late here. Goodnight!

 

* * *

 

**TUESDAY**

**Speedy [10:24]**

how’s your phone girl

 

**Phone Girl’s Phone (Ollie) [10:26]**

I haven’t spoken to her.

 

**Phone Girl’s Phone (Ollie) [10:27]**

And she’s not MY anything.

 

**Speedy [10:27]**

sure she isn’t

 

**Phone Girl’s Phone (Ollie) [10:28]**

Don’t, Thea. I’m not in the mood.

 

**Speedy [10:30]**

ok who pissed in your sippy cup and called it granny’s peach tea

 

**Phone Girl’s Phone (Ollie) [10:31]**

?

 

**Speedy [10:31]**

blame roy he makes me watch movies sometimes ok

 

**Speedy [11:07]**

you’re not getting out of answering me

 

**Speedy [11:08]**

did they cancel your subscription to sports weekly

 

**Phone Girl’s Phone (Ollie) [11:09]**

That’s not a thing.

 

**Speedy [11:09]**

then what the hell is wrong with you???

 

**Phone Girl’s Phone (Ollie) [11:11]**

Just an unwelcome phone call, okay? Let it go.

 

**Speedy [11:12]**

I would make a queen elsa joke but you probably wouldn’t get it

 

**Speedy [11:12]**

wait so this IS to do with phone girl?

 

**Speedy [11:12]**

you have her phone

 

**Speedy [11:13]**

ergo unpleasant phone call was for her right?

 

**Phone Girl’s Phone (Ollie) [11:16]**

Drop it.

 

**Speedy [11:18]**

what was it?? her vet called about her imaginary whippet puppy????? you found out about her secret fascination with stationary helicopters??????? is she wanted in connection with a string of violent homicides by unusual methods??????????

 

**Speedy [11:24]**

she’s not married…… right?

 

**Phone Girl’s Phone (Ollie) [11:25]**

No, none of the above.

 

**Speedy [11:27]**

what is it god ollie please just put me out of my misery

 

**Phone Girl’s Phone (Ollie) [11:28]**

Someone was calling her back with a job offer.

 

**Speedy [11:28]**

why would that make you

 

**Speedy [11:28]**

oh she works at QC

 

**Phone Girl’s Phone (Ollie) [11:29]**

Yeah.

 

**Speedy [11:30]**

who?

 

**Phone Girl’s Phone (Ollie) [11:30]**

Wayne Industries.

 

**Speedy [11:30]**

ew

 

**Speedy [11:31]**

what are you going to do?

 

**Phone Girl’s Phone (Ollie) [11:32]**

I scheduled the interview. She can change it if she has to.

 

**Speedy [11:32]**

that was surprisingly not-caveman of you. what did she say when you told her

 

**Phone Girl’s Phone (Ollie) [11:33]**

I told you, I haven’t spoken to her.

 

**Speedy [11:33]**

well then CALL HER you gigantic ignorant pine tree

 

**Phone Girl’s Phone (Ollie) [11:34]**

I will… just not right now.

 

**Speedy [11:35]**

oh for the love of

 

**Phone Girl’s Phone (Ollie) [11:35]**

Just let me figure out how to approach it, okay? I’m trying.

 

**Speedy [11:36]**

yes you are very trying

 

**Speedy [11:39]**

CALL HER!!!!!

 

**Phone Girl’s Phone (Ollie) [11:40]**

Thea.

 

**Speedy [11:41]**

ok ok I’m done

 

* * *

 

**WEDNESDAY**

**Felicity’s Vacation Phone [20:08]**

I hate my life

 

**Sara (Laurel’s sister) [20:09]**

why this time

 

**Felicity’s Vacation Phone [20:10]**

wayne industries finally called after SIX MONTHS. six months of silence and then they choose to call when my boss’s boss’s boss has my cell phone

 

**Sara (Laurel’s sister) [20:10]**

if he fired you I will kick his ass

 

**Felicity’s Vacation Phone [20:11]**

he didn’t fire me

 

**Sara (Laurel’s sister) [20:11]**

demote you?

 

**Felicity’s Vacation Phone [20:11]**

nope. he wanted to know why, but he seemed kinda… resigned

 

**Felicity’s Vacation Phone [20:12]**

he scheduled the interview for me because he said he would never stand in my way. what does that even mean

 

**Sara (Laurel’s sister) [20:13]**

...it means that he recognises that you’re a force of nature and it’s in his best interests not to try to stifle you. I’m impressed

 

**Sara (Laurel’s sister) [20:16]**

so, the interview?

 

**Felicity’s Vacation Phone [20:18]**

I told oliver to cancel it

 

**Sara (Laurel’s sister) [20:18]**

WOW WHAT??

 

**Felicity’s Vacation Phone [20:19]**

I know

 

**Sara (Laurel’s sister) [20:20]**

you’ve wanted to work for bruce wayne for as long as I’ve known you. six months ago you would’ve given anything to leave qc

 

**Felicity’s Vacation Phone [20:20]**

things change.

 

**Sara (Laurel’s sister) [20:21]**

like your proximity to an attractive billionaire?

 

**Felicity’s Vacation Phone [20:21]**

like I don’t want to uproot my life and move to gotham right now.

 

**Sara (Laurel’s sister) [20:22]**

mhm

 

**Felicity’s Vacation Phone [20:22]**

shut up.

 

* * *

 

**THURSDAY**

**Speedy [8:51]**

don’t freak out

 

**Phone Girl’s Phone (Ollie) [8:52]**

You know beginning a conversation with ‘don’t freak out’ is an excellent way to ensure that I freak out, right?

 

**Speedy [8:52]**

I’m fine

 

**Speedy [8:53]**

I already have enough regret I don’t need a lecture

 

**Phone Girl’s Phone (Ollie) [8:53]**

What did you break...

 

**Speedy [8:53]**

I went to a bar

 

**Phone Girl’s Phone (Ollie) [8:54]**

You WHAT?!

 

**Speedy [8:54]**

I told you not to freak out!!!!!! please be gentle I am hungover

 

**Phone Girl’s Phone (Ollie) [8:55]**

Where are you? Do I need to have Diggle pick you up?

 

**Speedy [8:55]**

I’m… at felicity’s house

 

**Phone Girl’s Phone (Ollie) [8:55]**

Explain that sentence.

 

**Speedy [8:57]**

your number is saved in my medical ID on my cell. the bartender called it and long story short, felicity is a saint who picks up drunk teenage girls at almost 4 in the morning and lets them sleep it off in her guestroom

 

**Phone Girl’s Phone (Ollie) [8:57]**

Thea…

 

**Speedy [8:58]**

I know. we can talk about it when you get back, ok?

 

**Phone Girl’s Phone (Ollie) [9:00]**

Take some aspirin and drink plenty of water.

 

**Speedy [9:01]**

felicity beat you to it

 

**Speedy [9:22]**

I like her, ollie

 

**Phone Girl’s Phone (Ollie) [9:24]**

I like her, too.

 

* * *

 

**Mr. Terrific [10:29]**

OMG it’s almost too good to be true

 

**Oliver Queen (aka Felicity) [10:30]**

what is

 

**Mr. Terrific [10:31]**

I almost don’t want to talk about it because when you talk about things that’s when you jinx it and the thing no longer is a thing

 

**Oliver Queen (aka Felicity) [10:31]**

curtis calm down and SPILL

 

**Mr. Terrific [10:32]**

MEPHITIC MARTIN

 

**Mr. Terrific [10:32]**

GONE. VANISHED. NO LONGER A FESTERING SORE ON THE SKIN OF THE IT DEPARTMENT.

 

**Oliver Queen (aka Felicity) [10:33]**

seriously??????

 

**Mr. Terrific [10:34]**

there is a very clean-smelling woman at his former desk and her nameplate says ERICA.

 

**Mr. Terrific [10:34]**

she’s said four words to me and I love her already

 

**Mr. Terrific [10:34]**

apparently there was an anonymous complaint about the way mephitic martin treated his staff

 

**Oliver Queen (aka Felicity) [10:36]**

yes

 

**Oliver Queen (aka Felicity) [10:36]**

‘anonymous’

 

**Mr. Terrific [10:37]**

……….I could hug you

 

**Mr. Terrific [10:37]**

how did you do it OMG

 

**Oliver Queen (aka Felicity) [10:38]**

I may have mentioned it to a certain ceo

 

**Mr. Terrific [10:38]**

I love him so much

 

**Oliver Queen (aka Felicity) [10:39]**

curtis, you’re married

 

**Mr. Terrific [10:40]**

I know but anyone who can make mephitic martin disappear is a true god among mortals

 

**Mr. Terrific [10:40]**

this has been a great albeit weird day

 

**Oliver Queen (aka Felicity) [10:41]**

I’ll say. I woke up this morning to a teenage heiress yodeling groceries in my bathroom.

 

**Mr. Terrific [10:42]**

WHAT

 

**Oliver Queen (aka Felicity) [10:42]**

I’ll tell you at lunch

 

**Mr. Terrific [10:42]**

YOU’D BETTER!!!!!!

 

* * *

 

**Phone Girl’s Phone (Ollie) [18:37]**

I need your help

 

**Speedy [18:38]**

depends what are you offering as payment

 

**Phone Girl’s Phone (Ollie) [18:45]**

It involves a surprise for Felicity.

 

**Speedy [18:45]**

WHATEVER IT IS, I’LL DO IT.

 

* * *

 

**FRIDAY**

**[NEW] Group chat**

 

**Oliver [13:25]**

Thanks for agreeing to help me out.

 

**Sara [13:25]**

let’s be clear I’m not doing this for YOU

 

**Sara [13:26]**

I’m doing this for felicity because for some reason the very idea of talking to you doesn’t make her want to claw her eyes out of her skull

 

**Sara [13:26]**

AS IT RIGHTFULLY SHOULD

 

**Oliver [13:28]**

Either way, I appreciate it.

 

**Thea [13:28]**

she’s suspicious

 

**Thea [13:29]**

can’t a girl bring her future sister-in-law an iced capp at work without an ulterior motive?

 

**Oliver [13:30]**

Don’t...

 

**Thea [13:30]**

ok we’re on our way to the spa

 

**Thea [13:31]**

by the way, thanks for lashing out and getting us the ‘lap of luxury’ package, ollie!

 

**Sara [13:32]**

I mean, you probably should have expected that when you gave her free rein of your credit card

 

**Oliver [13:32]**

...that is true.

 

**Oliver [13:33]**

NO SHOES, THEA.

 

**Thea [13:34]**

damn it

 

**Sara [14:52]**

I’m in position

 

**Sara [14:52]**

I feel like a covert operative

 

**Sara [14:53]**

I even had to switch off the tracker app on my phone in case she checked and saw I was at her place

 

**Sara [14:53]**

although if she wanted to find me that wouldn’t stop her

 

**Thea [14:54]**

she’s pretty distracted right now

 

**Thea [14:54]**

full body massage and such

 

**Sara [14:56]**

oh that reminds me oliver what kind of activities do you have planned for this weekend

 

**Sara [14:56]**

will I need to pack anything more than just her prettiest lingerie???

 

**Thea [14:56]**

EW

 

**Thea [14:57]**

EW EW EW EW NO STOP

 

**Diggle [14:58]**

Yes, please stop.

 

**Sara [14:59]**

...who are you??

 

**Diggle [15:00]**

I don’t even know why I’m in this conversation. I just drive the car.

 

**Oliver [15:01]**

Clothes suitable for sightseeing, maybe something she can wear out to dinner.

 

**Diggle [15:01]**

In fact, at first I’m not even going to be driving the car.

 

**Oliver [15:02]**

Comfortable shoes for lots of walking.

 

**Diggle [15:02]**

I’m just a glorified chaperone.

 

**Sara [15:03]**

got it

 

**Thea [15:08]**

as hard as I’m trying not to think about the reasons behind this, pack the lingerie sara

 

**Thea [15:08]**

her body is kinda killer and my brother will appreciate it

 

**Oliver [15:09]**

THEA.

 

**Sara [15:09]**

omg I know right he’s not going to know what to do with himself

 

**Diggle [15:09]**

Take the personal security job, they said. You won’t even have to talk to your client, they said.

 

**Thea [15:10]**

chill ollie no reason to get jealous I am in a committed relationship

 

**Oliver [15:10]**

She’s never going to make it here in one piece, is she?

 

**Thea [15:11]**

ye of little faith

 

**Sara [15:11]**

you’ll thank us later

 

**Sara [15:11]**

bikini wax?

 

**Thea [15:12]**

bikini wax. (ew ew ew)

 

**Sara [15:12]**

then I’m packing the green set.

 

**Diggle [15:12]**

I don’t get paid enough.

 

* * *

 

**SATURDAY**

**THE BOY WITH FELICITY’S PHONE [17:20]**

I got JARVIS back!

 

**Stockholm Syndrome [17:25]**

are you kidding me

 

**Stockholm Syndrome [17:25]**

is that all I get

 

**Stockholm Syndrome [17:25]**

after everything I went through to get you on that plane

 

**Stockholm Syndrome [17:26]**

felicity

 

**Stockholm Syndrome [17:27]**

aNSWER ME

 

**Stockholm Syndrome [17:29]**

FELICITY MEGAN SMOAK

 

**Stockholm Syndrome [17:32]**

I AM YOUR BEST FRIEND

 

**Stockholm Syndrome [17:34]**

DON’T MAKE ME FLY OVER THERE

 

* * *

 

**Sara (Laurel’s sister) [17:58]**

could you kindly remove your tongue from my best friend’s throat so she can text me back

 

**Former Dirtbag Oliver Queen [18:00]**

You can talk to her tomorrow.

 

**Sara (Laurel’s sister) [18:01]**

I will pull off your fingernails one by one and dip the open wounds in acid

 

**Former Dirtbag Oliver Queen [18:02]**

Switching phones off now.

 

**Sara (Laurel’s sister) [18:03]**

DON’T YOU DARE


	3. Sunday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, here's a teeny, tiny bit more...

**SUNDAY**

**Stockholm Syndrome [10:17]**

I hope you enjoyed your first and only night with oliver

 

**Stockholm Syndrome [10:17]**

because I’m going to kill him

 

**Best Friend/Accomplice [11:33]**

good morning to you too sara

 

**Stockholm Syndrome [11:39]**

OH SO YOU HAVEN’T FORGOTTEN HOW TO TEXT

 

**Best Friend/Accomplice [11:40]**

stop being so dramatic

 

**Stockholm Syndrome [11:40]**

I want all the details

 

**Best Friend/Accomplice [11:42]**

fine

 

**Best Friend/Accomplice [11:42]**

he kissed me

 

**Stockholm Syndrome [11:43]**

...only once????

 

**Best Friend/Accomplice [11:44]**

well, no, more than once.

 

**Best Friend/Accomplice [11:45]**

definitely more than once

 

**Best Friend/Accomplice [11:45]**

pretty much as soon as I got off the plane he was waiting for me and he kissed me and then there was a limo and more kissing and then we went to freshen up at the hotel before dinner seeing as I was all plane-y and gross which he claimed he didn’t notice

 

**Stockholm Syndrome [11:46]**

freshen up? Or Freshen Up???

 

**Best Friend/Accomplice [11:48]**

don’t be vulgar

 

**Stockholm Syndrome [11:49]**

why are you even surprised at this point

 

**Best Friend/Accomplice [11:49]**

never surprised, only exasperated.

 

**Best Friend/Accomplice [11:50]**

anyway, no, just the regular dictionary sense. I have my own room and everything.

 

**Stockholm Syndrome [11:51]**

but did you sleep in it last night??

 

**Best Friend/Accomplice [11:52]**

I plead the fifth, your honor

 

**Stockholm Syndrome [11:52]**   


hmmmmmm.

 

**Best Friend/Accomplice [11:53]**

so we went to dinner and it was INCREDIBLE. it was this little spanish restaurant and bar and there was this really nice slow cooked lamb and you know me, I’m not usually a lamb person, but I never even thought it was possible for lamb to be this good.

 

**Stockholm Syndrome [11:54]**

lamb was good I get it move on

 

**Best Friend/Accomplice [11:54]**

then we walked around and there were so. many. people. 

 

**Best Friend/Accomplice [11:55]**

and I thought it would be weird at first, you know? that people would recognise him so we couldn’t just sit and talk and take photos in times square without being interrupted. but nobody did, and he seemed so happy and relaxed, not like he used to be whenever I saw him around QC. 

 

**Stockholm Syndrome [11:57]**

you’re the dumbest smart person I know

 

**Stockholm Syndrome [11:57]**

him being happy has nothing to do with not being bothered by strangers and everything to do with you being there.

 

**Stockholm Syndrome [11:58]**

that’s a confusing sentence but you’ll work it out

 

**Best Friend/Accomplice [11:59]**

[Sent: IMG_2442.jpg]

 

**Stockholm Syndrome [12:00]**

height difference omg

 

**Best Friend/Accomplice [12:00]**

I know right?

 

**Stockholm Syndrome [12:01]**

you guys make a cute couple

 

**Stockholm Syndrome [12:02]**

now don’t change the subject what happened after the walking and talking and photos

 

**Best Friend/Accomplice [12:03]**

oh would you look at the time we have lunch reservations I should go get ready

 

**Stockholm Syndrome [12:03]**

FELICITY!!!!

 

**Stockholm Syndrome [12:04]**

please 

 

**Stockholm Syndrome [12:05]**

if you don’t answer me rIGHT NOW I’LL… do something I don’t know what

 

**Stockholm Syndrome [12:06]**

I’ll change the netflix password

 

**Stockholm Syndrome [12:06]**

I’ll donate all of your shoes to a thrift shop

 

**Stockholm Syndrome [12:07]**

I’LL CALL YOUR MOTHER.

 

**Best Friend/Accomplice [12:08]**

you’re a monster. fine I’ll call you give me a sec

 

**Stockholm Syndrome [12:09]**

donna smoak, always the ace up your sleeve.

 

**Stockholm Syndrome [12:09]**

get it? because she works in a casino?

 

**Best Friend/Accomplice [12:10]**

I hate you on so many levels.

 

**Stockholm Syndrome [12:10]**

I love you, too.

 

* * *

 

**Speedy [12:15]**

how is it going? (before you answer, know that if you ignore felicity to text me I will kick your ass)

 

**Ollie [12:16]**

She’s on the phone right now. We’re just about to head out for lunch.

 

**Speedy [12:16]**

and? was it worth the grand romantic gesture?

 

**Ollie [12:17]**

Yes.

 

**Speedy [12:18]**

ok well just don’t mess it up. you deserve to be happy.

 

**Ollie [12:19]**

I am. Very much so.

 

**Ollie [12:20]**

aaaaand on that note your stupid sappy brother and I need to go get some lunch because I am STARVING after everything we did last night and this morning.

 

**Speedy [12:20]**

GROSS FELICITY STOP

 

**Ollie [12:21]**

no not like that oh my god I just meant like, walking and stuff

 

**Ollie [12:21]**

why do I ever talk to people

 

**Speedy [12:22]**

therapy I need therapy

 

**Ollie [12:23]**

We’ll talk later, Speedy.

 

**Speedy [12:23]**

ugh ok bye have fun

 

**Speedy [12:24]**

this is so exciting ollie has a girlfriend I can see the tacky headlines now

 

**Speedy [12:24]**

‘heir struck by cupid’s arrow’

 

**Speedy [12:25]**

no no wait I can do better

 

**Speedy [12:25]**

‘queen finds his queen’

 

**Speedy [12:26]**

tagline: ‘he stole her phone and she stole his heart’

 

**Ollie [12:27]**

She stole MY phone, if we’re being clear about it.

 

**Ollie [12:27]**

excuse me your brother is a lying liar who lies

 

**Ollie [12:28]**

See? Phone stealer.

 

**Speedy [12:28]**

you guys are sickening

 

**Speedy [12:28]**

and I love it so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much, guys. I've been honestly stunned at the response this silly little fluff piece has gotten, and you have put a smile on my face with every comment and kudos. I'm working on a few other projects at the moment, but I think there might be a proper sequel in me somewhere down the line (and hey, this might have taken two years, but it DID happen eventually). A zillion thanks to thatmasquedgirl, as usual, for encouraging all of my dorkiest humour in this piece.
> 
> In the meantime, if you're looking for something to read, check out thatmasquedgirl's The Edge of Hope, dettiot's Let's Misbehave, TrueMyth's The Love Thieves: Amour de Soi, kyrieanne's Canaries, or my WIP, Absolution - it's a zombie(-ish) virus apocalypse story with a vigilante twist.
> 
> Thanks for reading. You guys are the best.


End file.
